“Ambiguous loss makes us feel incompetent. It erodes our sense of mastery and destroys our belief in the world as a fair, orderly, and manageable place. But if we learn to cope with uncertainty, we must realize that there are differing views of the world, even when that world is less challenged by ambiguity… If we are to turn the corner and cope with uncertain losses, we must first temper our hunger for mastery. This is the paradox.”
-Pauline Boss
Executive Director
Deborah Holt
PhD, LMFT-S
Dr. Deborah Holt is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Board Approved Supervisor in Texas. She earned her Doctor of Philosophy in Marriage and Family Therapy from Texas Woman’s University, a COAMFTE-accredited program, graduating in the top 5% of family therapy students. Dr. Holt completed her clinical training at the Department of Psychiatry Family Studies Center at UT Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas, Texas. With extensive experience working with couples and families in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, she is deeply committed to family systems and evidence-based therapeutic methods, including Emotionally Focused Therapy—the gold standard for treating relational distress and fostering lasting change. Dr. Holt’s comprehensive clinical experience extends to children/adolescents and adults across all levels of care, that is, in-patient and residential treatment, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, and outpatient therapy.
Dr. Holt, a Clinical Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and an active member of Texas Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, contributes to the field through research, education, clinical practice, and community engagement. Her doctoral research, The Moderating Role of Relationship Satisfaction and Parenting Quality on Negative Child Behavior in Re-Partnered Couples, reflects her commitment to advancing systemic therapy. With expertise in attachment science, adult attachment, relationship challenges and relational distress, divorce and remarriage/re-partnering, blended families and stepmotherhood, performance and burnout, life transitions, grief and ambiguous loss, complex family dynamics, and neuroscience, Dr. Holt’s multidimensional approach deepens the understanding and application of systemic/relational therapy.
With an illustrious career spanning over a decade and a half, Dr. Holt has made a profound impact through her private practices and outpatient services. She has skillfully guided several hundreds of couples, families, and individuals from all walks of life toward transformative growth and healing. Prior to establishing her thriving private practices, Dr. Holt was a top-producing clinician at a group practice and served as a lead therapist in various agencies. Her unwavering commitment to her clients, team, colleagues, and supervisees; her dedication to the field of marriage and family therapy; the accolades she has received for the efficacy of her clinical work; and the success of her private practices all stand as a testament to her professional excellence.
HIGH CONFLICT COUPLES THERAPY: DR. HOLT’S SPECIALTY
Dr. Holt brings substantial expertise to her work with high-conflict couples. Research shows that couples often wait 6-7 years before seeking professional help. It is unsurprising that many arrive in therapy after years of chronic conflict, resentment, and disconnection—barriers that paralyze their growth both as a couple and as individuals. Dr. Holt’s passion lies in helping couples break free from these destructive cycles and rediscover trust and connection. Her approach moves beyond the idea of a “good or bad” or “right or wrong” partner, instead addressing the unresolved attachment injuries—such as feelings of abandonment, rejection, or inadequacy—that fuels the negative cycle couples get caught in. When these attachment injuries and wounds remain untreated, this hinders the connection and security between partners.
When individuals live in protection and isolation for an extended period, they often lose sight of their innate and fundamental need for acceptance and belonging. The absence of emotional connection can influence couples’ physical intimacy, finances and performance at work, parenting dynamics, interpersonal relationships, decision-making and their mental health (e.g., depression and anxiety). As humans, we are wired for connection—it is as essential as the air we breathe. Dr. Holt’s work is rooted in creating a true sense of safety between partners, allowing them to engage in transformative therapeutic experiences that deepen their emotional bond. Through this process, powerful healing emerges, allowing couples to repair trust and reconnect on a deeper, more intimate level. The literature demonstrates that when couples develop a secure attachment in their relationship, they also acquire ultimate independence—partners feel empowered to step out of their comfort zones and take “risks” knowing that when they fall their partner is there to catch them. This newfound security strengthens their relationship and helps them to overcome the inevitable stressors and adversities of life together.
As a systemic and relational therapist, Dr. Holt understands the extended pain that both partners hold and the extensive care each partner needs to fully engage in the therapeutic work. She understands the varying realities and worldviews partners bring to the relationship and the broader interconnectedness of the (couple and family) system. Dr. Holt creates a compassionate, non-pathologizing, and impartial space where both couple members feel safe, seen, and deeply understood. By addressing the systemic nature and complexities within relationships, she assists couples shift relational patterns and dynamics and not merely its individual symptoms to acquire deep healing, meaningful growth, and lasting change and connection. Dedicated to her ongoing professional growth, Dr. Holt regularly engages in professional development and continuing education. She maintains weekly meetings and semi-monthly consultations with esteemed colleagues, mentors, and former supervisors, all while staying current with the latest research.
ELEVATING SUCCESS AND CONNECTION: SYSTEMIC THERAPY FOR HIGH-ACHIEVING PROFESSIONALS AND DUAL-CAREER COUPLES
Dr. Holt’s professional focus centers on high-achieving professionals and dual-career couples, notably, healthcare practitioners (i.e., physicians and surgeons, psychiatrists, dentists, pharmacists, physician-scientists, and nurse practitioners); attorneys; executives; entrepreneurs; engineers; and professional athletes. Throughout her clinical practice, Dr. Holt’s clients have consisted predominantly of high-performing professionals and dual-career couples, particularly those in the healthcare field. In her multifaceted roles as a partner, mother of two, entrepreneur, distinguished professional, and healthcare practitioner, Dr. Holt forges meaningful connections with, and carries a profound passion and respect for, individuals and couples in these high-achieving and dual-career capacities.
Dr. Holt’s clients exhibit exceptionally high intellectual capabilities (IQ). Their impressive logical and cerebral aptitude proves invaluable within the realms of their professional responsibilities. Their ability to maintain objectivity and performance in intense circumstances, where the stakes are high to preserve the well-being and life of their patients, exemplifies the effectiveness of their cognitive abilities. An overemphasis on cognitive rigidity, however, can impede their interpersonal relationships, particularly in the context of romantic partnerships. Research shows that we are our most optimal selves when there is a harmonious balance between logic and affect [emotional intelligence (EQ)]. True empathy, a cornerstone of deep intimacy and closeness in romantic relationships, is born when logic and emotions coexist in equilibrium.
While cognitive rigidity often originates from pain, fear, a lack of safety, and self-preservation mechanisms developed in response to early experiences within the family of origin and attachment with primary caregivers, it is crucial to attain proficiency in both cognitive and emotional realms. By having a felt sense with our nervous system are we able to attain profound self-understanding, enable genuine release and “let go” of the harbored hurts and resentment, (co) heal, improve our quality of life, and allow ourselves to be accessible for our partners to truly see and intimately experience us as we are. True healing stems from deep feeling.
Dr. Holt is devoted to supporting our healthcare practitioners - Dr. Holt comes highly recommended amongst physicians community groups.
CREDENTIALS:
Doctor of Philosophy in Marriage and Family Therapy
Texas License in Marriage and Family Therapy
Texas Board Approved Supervisor (MFT)
International Center for Excellence in EFT: Certificate Externship in EFT (2022)
Prepare/Enrich Certified Facilitator
Fluency in English and Korean
ENDORSEMENTS